It’s the Little Things That Matter
- Brooke Ramos
- Mar 28
- 5 min read
I haven’t stopped all day, and yet I haven’t finished a single thing either. I’m exhausted, but I can’t actually tell you what I did today. My brain is fried, but I’m a stay at home mom, so it’s not like I’ve been running meetings or tackling spreadsheets. I have nothing to show for my week. Maybe if I had a real job, I’d feel more productive.
The young years of motherhood can be a major, emotional struggle (probably the teen years to, but I’m not there yet, so I can’t speak to it), especially for those of us who have the ability to choose to stay home in some capacity. Even more so for those of us who are productivity-oriented and used to getting rave reviews in our workplace for a job well done, measured by a goal that was met. Motherhood is not obviously measurable. There are no reviews every time your kid makes it to another birthday. (Can you imagine? “Well, she’s alive, but you only do her hair 45% of the time and her socks never match, so negative three points.”). There are no bonuses, no raises and no pay cuts to advise you in where you’re excelling…and where you’re slacking. There isn’t a form to be filled out or bubbles someone can fill in. There’s no score that we can give or a total out of 100.
Success in motherhood is not easily or obviously measurable, but there are signs if you look closely and seek God’s reassurance. If your heart is in the right place, if you’re looking for God in the daily, confirmation emerges out of the struggles, the tears (yours and theirs), the giggles, and even the simplest interactions. The proof is in the little things.
When there are tears of repentance, not of shame, that result from loving discipline, there is progress. No, loving discipline is not an oxymoron. I would go as far to say that the only discipline that results in lasting change comes from a place of deep love for the child and for the child to know God’s love. Hebrews 12:11, “No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.”
When someone makes a comment about your daughter‘s confidence it’s proof you have been building her up, not tearing her down. 1 Thessalonians 5:11, “Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as you are doing.”
When your toddler continuously hands the toys back to the baby as she throws them from her high chair throne, give yourself a pat on the back. You finally got the message of a servant’s heart through to them. They learned from watching your servant’s heart. They see you bend over for the 27th time to pick up the smashed food, the spoon, the socks, the manga-tiles… Mark 10:45, “For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life as a ransom for many.”
When your oldest takes it upon themselves to tie the youngest’s shoes, without even being asked, you can be sure that your lessons on love and humility have gotten through. Philippians 2:3-4, “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.”
When your five-year-old’s first response to hearing a friend is sick is, “Can we pray for them?” know that they have heard you pray by example. Philippians 4:6, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
When you see your child with tears in their eyes at the struggle of holding her tongue, but succeeding to do so, know that the fruits of the Spirit are growing in them. Galatians 5:22-23, “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Against such things there is no law.”
When the child who inflicted the pain on a sibling cries harder than the one who is physically hurt, you can be sure that their love for their sibling runs deep and they have a repentant heart. When the hurt child turns around and forgives them, you see Jesus. Ephesians 4:32, “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”
When your child looks away from the screen while their peers look closer, they are standing strong in their convictions. 2 Timothy 2:22, “Flee from evil desires of youth and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart.”
When they turn another cold, dark day into an opportunity to build a fort for their sick sister, stop and admire her light. Acknowledge how she sends her notes and pictures to brighten her gloomy day with a kind of light that cannot be extinguished. Matthew 5:16, “In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.” John 1:5, “The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.”
When your child trips in their new shoes and skins their knee, but manages to hobble over to you, hiding their face in your neck, know that you embody safety and comfort. 2 Corinthians 1:3-4, “…the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.”
When they let you leave the hospital as new parents with a living, breathing creature and your mind starts to spin out of control wondering if you can do this, block the loud lies with Biblical truths. When those same loud lies creep up again, making you doubt whether you’re doing this whole parenting thing well, shut it down. He doesn’t speak in loud lies. He prefers to whisper to make sure we’re really listening. 1 Kings 19:12, “After the earthquake came a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper.”
Trust that if we, “Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he grows older he will not depart from it.” Proverbs 22:6. And even if he departs, never stop believing in the way back. Our first (and foremost) disciples are our children. Deuteronomy 6: 1-7 leaves no doubt about it. We are to love the Lord with all our heart, soul and strength. Out of love comes a desire to obey and follow God’s commands. And it’s my job to teach and model this to my kids. I tell my girls that God trusted me to take care of them and I was gifted the responsibility of protecting their mind, body and soul. For the littlest ones I simplify this into, “It’s my job to keep you safe.”
As children of God he just wants what’s best for us and gives us the Bible with instructions to keep our mind, body and soul safe. He is the ultimate loving parent and His instructions are clear, one parent to another. If we’re living our days with our kids in a Deuteronomy 6 kind of way, we can rest assured, we’re doing the absolute best we can. Celebrate the little things, because even the littlest things, especially our little ones, can have the greatest of impacts.
Gal 6:9. (Mothers) do not grow weary of doing well, for in due season we shall reap if we faint not.